The Rectal Rocket
By Svengali G. Willickers

NOTE: This dish is the horrible train wreck of college food. However, depending on the ingredients used, this could actually turn out amazingly well.

INGREDIENTS:

• Several bags of Doritos
• The contents of your refrigerator

You've heard of seven layer salad, right? Great stuff. This is kind of like that only much more frightening. Plus, it makes a great party dish.

Step One: Take the entire contents of your refrigerator and layer it in a bowl with each layer separated by a layer of Doritos.

Step Two: Eat it, making sure to keep the local emergency medical assistance phone number handy near your telephone. It might be advisable to phone them in advance so they'll be ready with their stomach pumping equipment should the need arise.

If you're able to keep it down, it would likely be a good idea to stay near, or better still in your bathroom.

--sgw