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CHICKEN GODAWFUL
by Svengali G. Willikers

NOTE: May require actual kitchen facilities to prepare. 

INGREDIENTS:  

  • 2 boneless chicken breasts -or-1 package chicken breast strips 
  • 3 tbsp olive oil 
  • 3 tbsp soy sauce 
  • 3 tbsp garlic wine vinegar 
  • 3 tbsp Dale's steak seasoning 
  • 1 tsp garlic powder 
  • 2 tsp parmesan cheese 
  • 2 tsp garlic pepper 
  • 2 tsp chili powder 
  • 3-4 tsp dried onion flakes 
  • 2 tsp Italian seasoning  (oregano, thyme, marjoram, rosemary, and sage) 
  • Any other contents of your spice rack that you feel like adding 
  • Beer (lots) 
PROCEDURE:  
Slice up the chicken breasts into strips. If you bought breast strips, ignore this part, or slice them up even smaller. See if we care.  Combine the rest of the ingredients (except, perhaps, the beer. Oh what the hell, dump some of that in too.) in a small-to-mid-sized bowl.  Yes, I know it looks like its already been digested. Now would be a good time to drink a beer. 

Dump your chicken bits into the bowl and allow to marinate for a
while. 

Drink some more beer. 

At some point in your drunken stupor, preheat your oven to 350
degrees. 

Another beer? Sure, why not. 

When the oven is all hot and stuff, dump your chicken onto a baking tray and cook for 10-12 minutes. Just enough time for a beer or two. 

Remove from oven. It will look like innards, but the taste is actually quite pleasant. All the ingredients kinda battle it out in a WCW Super Brawl in your mouth, Kinda like flavor by committee, no one ingredient dominates (unless it's the garlic, which does have 3-1 odds against any other ingredient in the goop.) Goes well with beer. 

Serves: you right for cooking  (2) 

There is a variant on this recipe known as Pizza Chicken, where,
upon examining the finished dish, you decide there is no way in hell you will ever put that shit in your mouth, so you dump it in the trash and order a pizza instead.