The Secret Origin of THE MANLY BLADDER CLUB

    The Manly Bladder Club has a long and proud history. Founded by a small cadre of four high school sophomores, back in the year of our Lord 1988, these charter members made it a regular practice to stay up very late on Friday evenings watching spectacularly bad horror films and drinking equally spectacular amounts of off brand Diet Coke, Shasta and Food Club instant tea,(three beverages universally recognized for their inherent foulness).  The object of this practice was to measure how many naked, bad-horror movie actress-breasts we could view, not to mention which one of us could go the longest without having to use the bathroom due to the aforementioned consumption of mass quantities of liquid refreshment. These four charter members, Gordon Carskadon, Matthew Jamison, John Robert Underwood, and Eric Fritzius, were so skilled at this practice that they christened themselves the Manly Bladder Club. 

    Years later, due to a court order stemming from special-interest protest groups, the Manly Bladder Club was forced to extend its membership to other people.  However, membership is limited to those persons who qualify in one or more of the following categories:
 

A) Persons who have proven themselves in Mighty Bladder Combat. There are several methods through which this can be achieved, such as sitting through an entire episode of Survivor: Moss Point or whatever Hey, Let's Marry A Complete Damn Stranger show FOX is running these days.  However, the method judged to be most definitive of having a manly bladder is to tank up on liquids all day long and get a really good full bladder going, then go to the dollar theater and order up a brimming 60 ounce Bladder Obliterator from the snack bar, (your choice of drink.) Then sit through the entirety of whichever Lord of the Rings film happens to be there this week. Or, if you're extry cool, you'll find a theater showing Pulp Fiction, and try your blad' at that.  This grand feat has been achieved by one human being, Joe "Damn" Evans, (See The Rules of Joe).

B)Persons who suffer from Bashful Bladder Syndrome, whereby no matter how much liquid refreshment they ingest they cannot release it due to a deep-seated fear of people hearing them pee.  It is nearly impossible to best a BBS afficted individual in Mighty Bladder Combat without risking Mighty Bladder Rupture in one or more of the combatants.  In such cases, we usually just give them the title and send em home to void in privacy.  Or we promise to sing "Louie Louie" at the top of our lungs, with our fingers in our ears while they unclog their pipes in the empty house across the street.

C)Those who are members of the Mister Herman's Mailing List are considered to be honorary members of the Manly Bladder Club with no proof of bladder manliness necessary. (The one exception to this rule is our recently excommunicated list member Matthew Ellis, who has repeatedly proven himself to have the bladder of an incontinent four year old girl. He almost survived the Pulp Fiction test but had to duck out during the end credits to prevent blowing an O-ring.  What a damned wuss!  Don't take any long car trips with this one.  He's the living antithesis of bladder manliness.)